Medical Update and Christmas musings...

I just wrote out a nice long update and somehow pushed a wrong thingy and lost the whole thing.  So if this seems a little short it's because I've already written it once!!  This will no doubt be more brief.  Maybe it's just as well...  Phew!

It's been a whole month since I last chatted with you so I'll fill you in.  I did more resting and recuperating, more walking and venturing out.  I'm feeling quite well, just a little residual soreness and fatigue.  Very grateful for the good progress.  I had my first followup scan which showed no sign of cancer!!  Yep!  None.  So a few days later Don and I went for a little one-night getaway at Lake Quinault Lodge to celebrate!  It poured rain and we sat by the fire, getting up only for meals and to have a quick game of pingpong.  

We are so very thankful for everyone who helped us...in large and small ways, who prayed and visited and cooked food and cleaned the house and, and, and!  And we are so grateful to God for pouring out that Peace that just doesn't make sense at a time like this.

And now...Christmas is coming.  I woke up the other day just feeling sad.  I sat there in the sadness for a couple of hours (you know how that is) trying to figure out why and then trying to figure out who to blame! (Ha!)  Then I decided to actually TALK about it with Don.  Amazing thing about talking.  For me it really helps bring clarity.  Here's what became clear to me.

I've struggled with Christmas for a long, long time.  Its been one of those nameless things that was definitely there in my heart but with family, kids, activities, busyness, gifts, blah, blah...it was sort of a silent struggle.  And as I talked with Don I realized the struggle wasn't about doing stuff or buying stuff or going somewhere or about the trappings of Christmas vs. the birth of Jesus.  it was a wound in my heart that's been there since I was a little girl.  I won't go into all that we talked about but I'll just tell you
there comes the time when you can make a choice.  I came to that point.  My choice was to see the wound for what it has been and choosing to my newfound clarity over my old confusion.  This has been a long time coming.  I'm 73 for heaven's sake!  But also... it's never too late to do things differently.  And it's nothing external...it's all internal.  So I'll look the same and sound the same when you see me.  But internally...ahhh.  That's different.  I love it that we have this story-resolving ability available to us when the time is right.  I think that's one of the reasons Jesus came.  Freedom.

Blessings on you all...