Becky here!  Mom wanted me to share a humorous moment from the hospital - there were many, but this was one of my favorites.  The U of W Medical Center is a teaching hospital, so you don't have one doctor you have whole teams of doctors who come visiting.  The leader of the Pain Team is a French man who pushes a wheeled cart with a computer monitor on it in front of him wherever he goes. I don't know what else he has under the computer monitor but I picture some devices that he uses to cause pain.   He wears heavy black framed glasses, wears a white lab coat and speaks with a VERY heavy accent.  All his little Pain Team minions follow behind like little ducks.  One day he arrived pushing his little cart with the rest of the pain team following behind, he was wearing a mask which just added to the bizarre scene - I guess he was feeling under the weather.  He said "We are zeh pen tem", and all of a sudden I had a Peter Sellers moment.  I started laughing and felt bad, I didn't want to insult anyone but I couldn't help it!  It felt like a Peter Sellers or Mel Brooks movie.  He looked at me and I apologized and explained why I found it so funny and I'm so sorry but I cant help laughing, then HE started laughing too!  He played along and said "We are zeh pen tem, we are here to cause you pen, and we LIKE it!"  It was awesome.  :) 

Second Day Home

This is my second day back home.  Thanks to all of you who have played such an important part in this last week--before, during and after surgery.  Your presence, your prayers and messages have been a huge encouragement to me.  As Tammy said in the previous message, everything went as expected.  We will have our post-operative mtg. with the surgeon next Tuesday where I'll also have my stapes removed.  There are lots of them!

What made this experience so amazing and memorable to me have been the people and all the highs and lows.  

Some of the people...Earl, my ICU nurse:  His words when something went well--and they went well a lot were, "Super Duper!".  He was fabulous.  Stayed flexible when visitors came pouring in and he still managed to do his very important job.  The nurses and Patient Care Technicians on the surgical ward:  Their job was to take care of me and educate me.  What an amazing group of men and women.  They listened, repeated as often as I needed (and, believe me, I needed a lot of repitition) and kept Becky and Don informed--day and night.

I haven't been able to read, listen to music (except for a hospital channel that had a nature slide show with music), or much else.  Becky and Don read to me but I had trouble staying awake.  This is the first time I could attempt to write on my blog and have some confidence it would make sense.  I've stopped the heavy drugs, though, so am thinking more clearly and feeling stronger.  Abdominal surgery is no picnic.

I'd love your prayers that I'd be able to eat (swallow) more easily and that my throat would clear up so I can talk more easily.   It's all part of recovery for me.  Trusting, resting, listening...     

  

Surgery update

Hi all!  This is Tammy, Myrna asked me to update this blog for her while she's in the hospital.  Surgery went GREAT!  The surgeon removed the offending tumor on her liver and also removed her gall bladder.  She is currently residing in the ICU at the UW Medical Center.  They will keep her there overnight and then move her to another room for a few days.

Myrna and her pain relief button

I got to go in and see her and she looked FABULOUS!  Actually, quite beautiful.  And she was her perky self.  The nurses are, of course, enjoying her.  :)  I think the term was, "She's a riot!"  Is that right, Don?  Something like that.

Myrna also wanted me to let you know that her DREAM came TRUE!  And that my interpretation was correct.  :)  She was partying with God in the operating room, while God was filling Don with peace in the waiting room.  I love how God works!  

Gearing up for action... and my crazy dream

Yesterday was a very long day.  We drove to Seattle for our 2:15 appt. with my surgeon, then a 4:30 appt. with an anesthesia nurse, then a quick stop at the lab while they uneventfully (!) drew about 6 little tubes of my blood, quick stop at the coffee shop, back in the car, arrived home at 9 p.m.--full of information and quite exhausted!  It was a good day.

Our daughter, Karen, met us at the Surgery Pavillion and did a wonderful job keeping us going, asking good questions when the time came and took excellent notes--with color coding!  We are so blessed by our very grown up children.

So here's the plan--for those of you who like such things!   Tomorrow we drive BACK to Seattle and check in to our little hotel where I'll spend only the first night but it will be available for Don and Becky during my rather long hospital stay.  We'll then drive to SeaTac and pick up Becky, who is flying in from Virginia.  The UW provides for a cot in my room so someone can be with me day and night.  Very comforting.

I'll go to the UW bright and early Friday morning (6:15 a.m.) after having taken my kill-all-germs shower--which basically means I won't sleep at all but that's ok.  My surgery will take 4-6 hours. They are removing the large tumor from my liver, removing my gall bladder, and if necessary (if they find the primary cancer site while checking) they'll remove a portion of my small intestine.  I'll spend the first night in the ICU--all tubed up.  My total hospital stay will be 5-7 days.  Everyone coming and going has to wash their hands and if you have a cold you have to wear a mask.  I'll be in a protective bubble!  There you have it...the sanitized version of what is to come!  I'm told it's a good idea to bring my own robe and slippers.  Think I need to go shopping.  Don't you agree?  

We have so much to do.  It's like leaving home for a week-long trip.  Clean out the fridge, go to the dump (yay), stop the mail, pack for hospital/hotel room, etc., etc.  At one point the anesthesia nurse asked me how I felt about this surgery.  I told her I was EXCITED to have it done!  I AM!  The surgery will be very grueling but I will be so glad to be on the other side of it looking back...and I'm so, so looking forward to see what God might do that is unexpected.  He always gifts me with surprises.  

Now I have to tell you about my dream.  
I am a big fan of good parties.  I love the joy, dancing, conversation, food, good beverages.  A good party just makes me happy.  So my dream was this.  I was at the surgery center where I've been going.  I was there for an appointment, Don was with me.  Everything was normal.  Then I noticed things were shifting--a whole different atmosphere took over.  More people started to come in and then the counters where you check in turned in to these long bars where the people who normally check you in were handing out "beverages", making yummy appetizers and handing them out, music was playing--it was very danceable, toe-tapping music.  I was enjoying myself!  Very fun atmosphere.  I looked around for Don and finally discovered him.  He had found a bank of file cabinets, the top of which was about the size of a twin bed.  And he was stretched out sound asleep.  My dream went on all night long off and on.  Don never woke up--he was so comfy, I kept partying.  And I woke up with a smile on my face! 

What do you suppose could be the interpretation of this dream?  I'm still enjoying it.   




          

Having a nasty cold isn't the worst thing

Since Sunday I've had a doozie of a cold.  Believe it or not, it's not been a bad thing.  We're here in this waiting pattern, you see--waiting for life to ramp up next week toward surgery.  We're doing very well at not going crazy (er) but this cold has given me a whole new thing to concentrate on: take sudafed, drink liquids, take sudafed, blow, sneeze, cough..  It's taken my mind off my liver (I know!), which is a good thing.  Even when my mind is ON my liver though, I'm thinking, "come on, liver...  Hang in there.  Help is on the way!".

You've probably figured it out...I'm an optimist.  My brain almost always (had to qualify that) goes to whatever is positive in a situation, what good might come of it, to know it won't last forever.  It makes it easier to stay in the moment, I'm sure, than if I were a pessimist--waiting for the next shoe to drop--which sometimes it does--arriving on your doorstep in a cancer package or some other unexpected package.

This has been true my whole life. Very early I can remember having the feeling that although life was hard and difficult things happened, Someone Bigger than I was very close.  I knew I was completely loved in some deep place within--even as a child.  I had a sense that no matter what (or "what.ever") happened I would be ok.  Now, looking back from this vantage point, I believe that that  Someone was my ever-present God drawing me and then, when I came to be a follower of Jesus, the sense of His Spirit in me leading and guiding and speaking to me has never left.  What a great and wild ride it has been!  Even though at times my spiritual listening skills have been obscured by unhealed wounds, poor choices, the battle overwhelming me...even though...He has never left me and He isn't about to now.  I hang my hat on that every day. My temperament is persistent optimism.  My peace is a gift and a choice.

By the way, one of the best things when you have a cold??  A blue paper shop towel!  Love those puppies.  And just now two angels (Chuck and Soon Hee) dropped off a fresh batch of kale from their garden and two big bags of berries--and told me they are praying for me from deep in their heart.   Amazing the people that God sends to me.

I treasure you, my family and friends.  I'm praying for you from deep in my heart!

Lake Crescent Lodge

It's been so wonderful to see our kids these last few weeks.  You always wonder...if one of us got really sick how would we manage?  Well, we're just so blessed and encouraged to know that our family is ready for anything and able to step up so quickly it makes my head spin!  

We have 4 daughters and 3 sons-in-law spread out from Virginia to Alaska and Seattle and Tacoma.  They all have jobs and/or kids at home and yet...here they come.  And right now I'm feeling well enough to get out a bit and perk up life, if you know what I mean.  Susy has brought our grandaughter Ruby and "grandawg" Taco along.  And Karen brought all-grown-up Sarah.

One of our favorite places ever is the Lake Crescent Lodge.  It's so relaxing and beautiful and no matter what the weather there are great places to sit and enjoy one another and the beauty and peace around us.  So we've gone out there with Becky and this week with Debbie and Keith.  Our neice, Kristy, is coming this next weekend with our daughter, Susy, and I hope we can make it out there with them.  Such a treat!

I hope you weren't confused by my last post where I said my biopsy came out showing no cancer.  That was a biopsy done during my endoscopy of a suspicious "cluster" of polyps in my stomach.  Yes, I do still have cancer--in my liver and supposedly somewhere else yet to be discovered (the primary site).  

Now I have about 10 days to go until we go to Seattle for our pre-surgery meeting with the surgeon and anesthetist--that will be Sept. 18.  Then we go to Seattle Sept. 20 and spend the night before surgery Sept. 21.  In the meantime we have a wonderful visit to look forward to from our dear neice Kristy, coming from California, and friends here who visit and love us well.

Life is good.  God is Good.  I am full of hope--whatever.

Results...and the emotional side of Cancer

Got the results of my biopsy.  No sign of cancer.  I'm shocked and relieved and at the same time would love to find the instigator of all this cancer business.  I found this waiting period hard.  I cried, I worried, I DID NOT live in the moment.  It actually felt good to cry--afterward.  Sort of felt cleansed.  Don lived through it.  I lived through it.  I'm getting acquainted with the emotional side of having cancer.  

Yesterday I met a woman I know at Safeway.  She took one look at me and started crying!  Had to work hard to not fall apart right there by the chicken thighs.  She managed and we talked and went on with our shopping.  Isn't life weird?  It was a sweet moment.

So today to get me out of the house we went to one of my favorite places...the Port Angeles City Dump.  I remember going to the dump in the 60's with Grampa Cy's truck, backing it up to the edge of the cliff above the Straits and pushing all the trash over, ever mindful to keep from throwing oneself over with it!  

One day I saved a man's life at the dump.  This was about 15 years ago.  We were backed up to the big pile of yard waste, chatting with the other people lined up there.  Someone suddenly shouted..."Does anyone know CPR?"  I said I did and ran over to find an older man half laying in the bed of his truck not breathing.  So I jumped up there and started giving chest compressions.  His wife was standing there saying something about his having been at the ER last night for chest pains...  I just kept pumping.  Don went to the little pay booth to have someone call 911 (that was before we all had cell phones).  A Coast Guard guy rushed up about then and asked if he could help so I very happily let him take over.  The next Sunday in our local paper there was a small note in the "Rants and Raves" section from this man thanking the unknown woman who SAVED HIS LIFE at the DUMP!  

You can see why the dump always cheers me up.  God used the dump today to settle me down.
Thank you, Lord.

Waiting, waiting...

One week ago I had my "oscopy day".  They found something "interesting" in my stomach as they searched for the primary site where my cancer is originating.  So...We've been waiting for a phone call to give us the results of the biopsy and see what comes next.  I'm finding waiting quite challenging.  Let's just say I'm not smiling.

Bless you on this beautiful day...in spite of not smiling it's still beautiful.

How are you feeling?

I am asked that question a lot.  From husband to doctors to daughters to friends to strangers!  Let's see.  How am I feeling?  

This is all part of my story, you see.  Feeling.  Because of my early-childhood-years "stuff" I avoided "feeling" as much as possible.  It was much easier on my little heart to walk through life with a smile on my face and spring in my step than to actually deal with reality.  So until later in life I kept most people at a distance or sent them there if they got too close.  I know there are many women walking around today in this same situation because I've met them and have  talked with them and cried with them and laughed with them.  What a gift!  Remember how much I love stories and the freedom that comes when we truly understand them.

So when you ask me today how I'm feeling I'm delighted to tell you that I am!  Now to answer your question...  I'm feeling a little sick.  I've felt a little sick for most of a year and haven't known why.  Kind of wearing.  My body is working hard to keep my systems strong so I'm tired most of the time--sometimes more, sometimes less.  I feel kind of a dull pain that responds well to my medication.  I seem to need a lot of time in my chair kicked back, watching the birds come to the feeder, listening to the Spirit within quiet me, keeping me in the moment.

I also feel happy!  I get out every day for a walk and usually a drive somewhere and so appreciate the beauty around us here in Port Angeles and feel so privileged to live here.  I feel peaceful.  One of the big things I've learned is that we are given the great gift of Now.  I can choose all day (and all night) long to set my focus on "right here, right now" and live fully present with whomever is here, whatever is going on, no matter what my circumstance.  It is totally possible.  Since I have Jesus in my life, time spent with Him is paramount.  You may not know it when you're with me but...I'm keyed in to Him all day long.  Big subject.  Ask me about it sometime, we can chat.

Deuteronomy 30 says to "choose Life so that you and your descendants might live!"  That's what I'm doing.  All day long.  

How are YOU feeling?