We got to the hospital this morning at 6:50, got oscopied, home by 11 and on the couch sleeping off my knock-out meds. Now it's 1:30 and I'm feeling more human by the minute.
Leading up to this day I've been aware that people were focusing on the Colonoscopy and blanking on the endoscopy. I called the surgeon's office to make sure that little item was part of what he was prepared to do today. I mentioned it to the nurse who was getting me ready and she actually had an order and knew he was looking for a "primary site"--the place where my cancer is originating. Then the surgeon came in. Asked my name, birthdate--all that and then said, "And we're doing a colonoscopy this morning". And I said, "And an endoscopy with a biopsy". He looked perplexed and looked at the next paper on his clipboard and nodded or something. Don said something about there being a 6 mm polyp to biopsy... Got that straight!
They did indeed do both procedures. He found an "interesting" cluster at the bottom of my stomach, leading to the duodenum that had not been seen previously. He took biopsies of that little bugger and it is now in the lab being examined. We understand it takes 2-3 working days for the final word so he will call with the results and they'll be sent to the UW and various other places where it needs to go.
Done with this step. On to the next.
We are being very spoiled by our daughter, Becky, here for a week from Virginia. She is the most amazing cook. I'm trying to think of a word other than "cook" because she is so much more than that. And she goes on her morning walk up the hill by our house and brings me back little nature beauties. Two ripe blackberries, a seed pod, a daisy, and today some beautiful bark from a madrona tree. Life is so rich and full.
Have a wonderful day.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
As I was saying...
After our exhausting day Tuesday, I woke rested and ready! We started working early on scheduling a colonoscopy/endoscopy, which will happen Wed. the 29th. Our daughter, Becky, will be here from Virginia so she'll get to have a fun experience sort of vicariously! She's totally up for it.
During the course of our appointment-making day, just when we were becoming a little frustrated at having to wait until next Wed. for something to happen, the surgeon (Dr. Yeung) called. He had the results of Tuesday's tests (things happen faster at the UW, I think) and said the only thing they found from all my blood giving and barium drinking was a small polyp at the top of my stomach. Thus, he requested an endoscopy for next Wed. also. He and Don chatted for quite a while, which helped us both to relax.
One other thing I had to do yesterday was call Verizon and work out a rather large bill issue with them. A month ago I had greatly reduced our minutes because we just weren't using nearly enough to warrant such a large number available. Well...we received a $400 bill on Tuesday! Yep, $400. We had used double our allotted minutes. We've been making and receiving a lot of calls, needless to say. The young lady asked me a seemingly innocent question, "Has anything changed that made your minute usage go up?" I began to say, "Yes, actually...I have been diagnosed..." and I started to CRY! Holy Cow. Crying with the Verizon lady. I pulled myself together and finished my sentence and we got a little knocked off the bill and upped our minutes--how exhausting! I prayed later for my Verizon friend.
All this to say, Life is a never-ending adventure, emotions are running deep and bubble up at the most unexpected times. (I even cried telling Don the Verizon story when he came home later.) God is always Good. I am waiting expectantly for what comes next. And my friend Sun Hee is bring me more seaweed and Kale, which I will eat.
During the course of our appointment-making day, just when we were becoming a little frustrated at having to wait until next Wed. for something to happen, the surgeon (Dr. Yeung) called. He had the results of Tuesday's tests (things happen faster at the UW, I think) and said the only thing they found from all my blood giving and barium drinking was a small polyp at the top of my stomach. Thus, he requested an endoscopy for next Wed. also. He and Don chatted for quite a while, which helped us both to relax.
One other thing I had to do yesterday was call Verizon and work out a rather large bill issue with them. A month ago I had greatly reduced our minutes because we just weren't using nearly enough to warrant such a large number available. Well...we received a $400 bill on Tuesday! Yep, $400. We had used double our allotted minutes. We've been making and receiving a lot of calls, needless to say. The young lady asked me a seemingly innocent question, "Has anything changed that made your minute usage go up?" I began to say, "Yes, actually...I have been diagnosed..." and I started to CRY! Holy Cow. Crying with the Verizon lady. I pulled myself together and finished my sentence and we got a little knocked off the bill and upped our minutes--how exhausting! I prayed later for my Verizon friend.
All this to say, Life is a never-ending adventure, emotions are running deep and bubble up at the most unexpected times. (I even cried telling Don the Verizon story when he came home later.) God is always Good. I am waiting expectantly for what comes next. And my friend Sun Hee is bring me more seaweed and Kale, which I will eat.
Two Big Days...
Yesterday...what a day. And yes, yesterday was my day of recuperating from the day before. So, get some coffee (or whatever) and I'll tell you about some of the highlights of both days. I am meeting some amazing people and having some memorable experiences.
So, Tuesday was the day I met with my surgeon (Dr. Yeung). But before that happened I was "interviewed" and examined by the Chief Resident (very impressive). By 11, when the meeting was to take place I was already tired. Thank the Lord for my incredible support team, including Don, 2 daughters (Susy and Karen) and 2 good friends (JoDee and Christina), who hung in there ALL DAY and gave me strength and encouragement! We all trekked into the room, leaving standing room only for the 2 drs. (they were fine with that). And everyone listened intently, asked questions, took notes. After we were all satisfied (and I was fried) Dr. Yeung said he needed some more tests--two to happen right then. I needed more blood taken for testing and I needed another CT scan. Alrighty then.
Then began my further adventure with needles. Just so you know and can be praying for me in this regard, my body rebels at giving up blood. I don't mind the needles at all, in fact I find it quite interesting, but there's a reverse valve reaction (very unmedical terminology) or something that I always mention to those about to enter my vein world. Kind of me, I think...to forewarn.
So my first adventure was with a lovely Asian woman who, you could tell, knew what she was doing, approached my right arm confidently. She pressed on my inner elbow to raise the vein. Nothing. She tapped. She slapped. She eyed the back of my hand longingly. She slapped some more. Then she said, "We try other arm." She shifted the tourniquet, I made a fist, she pressed on the vein. Then she said, "I go get a heating pad" and returned (I'm not kidding) with a blue surgical glove filled with hot water and tied off at the top! Voila! A heating pad! After a couple of minutes she removed the "heating pad" and said, "OK, Now we try." And by jingo, she got it. Filled about 6 little tubes with my precious vital fluid. Done.
THEN, I went for my double-header CT scan. I call it double-header because I not only was injected with contrast, but before that could happen I had to drink a pint+ of yummy barium and two cans of gator-aide (yep). But before I drank this yummy lunch the nurse came in to start an IV so they could inject me when the time came. She was GORGEOUS! She was about 6 feet tall, tan, beautiful wild curly hair, and she exuded confidence. She looked over my arms for a good vein and spied the hole previously made by my Asian friend and said, let's try this since it worked before. (I had warned her ahead of time.) She also said she couldn't use a tiny needle because-well, just because. She slipped that puppy in, got it the first time. She and I were both relieved. I think she was a Viking relative.
Finished with ALL of that, Don and I left the UWMC and headed home. I ate the snacks I'd brought, managed to hang on until we had made our ferry crossing and woke up when we were in Port Angeles. That was Tuesday.
Wow. This was long. I think I'll tell you about yesterday after I have breakfast. Can't wait or the days all become a blur and mix together. And the stories...I love them. Hope you're enjoying this amazing journey with me. Blessings
So, Tuesday was the day I met with my surgeon (Dr. Yeung). But before that happened I was "interviewed" and examined by the Chief Resident (very impressive). By 11, when the meeting was to take place I was already tired. Thank the Lord for my incredible support team, including Don, 2 daughters (Susy and Karen) and 2 good friends (JoDee and Christina), who hung in there ALL DAY and gave me strength and encouragement! We all trekked into the room, leaving standing room only for the 2 drs. (they were fine with that). And everyone listened intently, asked questions, took notes. After we were all satisfied (and I was fried) Dr. Yeung said he needed some more tests--two to happen right then. I needed more blood taken for testing and I needed another CT scan. Alrighty then.
Then began my further adventure with needles. Just so you know and can be praying for me in this regard, my body rebels at giving up blood. I don't mind the needles at all, in fact I find it quite interesting, but there's a reverse valve reaction (very unmedical terminology) or something that I always mention to those about to enter my vein world. Kind of me, I think...to forewarn.
So my first adventure was with a lovely Asian woman who, you could tell, knew what she was doing, approached my right arm confidently. She pressed on my inner elbow to raise the vein. Nothing. She tapped. She slapped. She eyed the back of my hand longingly. She slapped some more. Then she said, "We try other arm." She shifted the tourniquet, I made a fist, she pressed on the vein. Then she said, "I go get a heating pad" and returned (I'm not kidding) with a blue surgical glove filled with hot water and tied off at the top! Voila! A heating pad! After a couple of minutes she removed the "heating pad" and said, "OK, Now we try." And by jingo, she got it. Filled about 6 little tubes with my precious vital fluid. Done.
THEN, I went for my double-header CT scan. I call it double-header because I not only was injected with contrast, but before that could happen I had to drink a pint+ of yummy barium and two cans of gator-aide (yep). But before I drank this yummy lunch the nurse came in to start an IV so they could inject me when the time came. She was GORGEOUS! She was about 6 feet tall, tan, beautiful wild curly hair, and she exuded confidence. She looked over my arms for a good vein and spied the hole previously made by my Asian friend and said, let's try this since it worked before. (I had warned her ahead of time.) She also said she couldn't use a tiny needle because-well, just because. She slipped that puppy in, got it the first time. She and I were both relieved. I think she was a Viking relative.
Finished with ALL of that, Don and I left the UWMC and headed home. I ate the snacks I'd brought, managed to hang on until we had made our ferry crossing and woke up when we were in Port Angeles. That was Tuesday.
Wow. This was long. I think I'll tell you about yesterday after I have breakfast. Can't wait or the days all become a blur and mix together. And the stories...I love them. Hope you're enjoying this amazing journey with me. Blessings
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Tests, more tests...
We do not yet have a plan, but this day was an important step in getting one. I'll keep this short and write more tomorrow because, believe it or not, I'm going to bed! I know it's only 7:15 but bed is calling.
Here's the bottom line. I am operable. And more tests are needed. The surgeon and chief resident talked with us, answered all our questions completely. The team agreed that in order to proceed with making the best possible treatment plan they need more info. It will be possible to remove the liver tumor and still function well. There are many questions still remaining, the most important of which is where is the cancer originating--the primary site.
After our meeting this morning I had more blood work and another CT scan using two different contrasts--one I drank (yummy lunch!) and one they injected. This week I get to have a colonoscopy! (Don't think about it too much... hehe).
So now we're home. Don drove, of course, and I slept! It was the fastest trip ever. I must tell you more about our day, about my incredible dream team that made such a difference. Hope you sleep well, I know I will...
Here's the bottom line. I am operable. And more tests are needed. The surgeon and chief resident talked with us, answered all our questions completely. The team agreed that in order to proceed with making the best possible treatment plan they need more info. It will be possible to remove the liver tumor and still function well. There are many questions still remaining, the most important of which is where is the cancer originating--the primary site.
After our meeting this morning I had more blood work and another CT scan using two different contrasts--one I drank (yummy lunch!) and one they injected. This week I get to have a colonoscopy! (Don't think about it too much... hehe).
So now we're home. Don drove, of course, and I slept! It was the fastest trip ever. I must tell you more about our day, about my incredible dream team that made such a difference. Hope you sleep well, I know I will...
Monday, August 20, 2012
Heading to the Big City
Heading over to the Big City (Seattle) today, staying overnight so we can be at the all-important appointment bright and early in the morning. I'm told we'll come away from there after a few hours with a plan. I have lots of emotions running around--relief (that we're taking action), sadness (that our little hiatus is interrupted), apprehension (at taking in lots of new information and remaining present in the moment)... Can I do it? Yes. I'm sure of that. I have lots of reasons for this confidence. My Lord has never failed me yet and isn't about to do it now. I have wonderful, strong, support going with me into this. I can't tell you how many people are praying for me/us... That is a huge, huge gift.
It helps me a lot to write this out. This is my continuing story. I'm impressed again with the importance of telling our stories! One of the foundational scriptures in my journey is Rev. 12:11. It talks about the power we have to defeat the enemy (Satan) by speaking our stories. It says, "...and the enemy is DEFEATED by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and by the word of our testimony (the speaking aloud of our story)". So even as I write this out I feel the sadness and apprehension diminish and Peace become stronger. YAY! It's like a RESET BUTTON!
Thanks for reading, for hanging in there with me, for praying, for encouraging. I love to read your comments.
It helps me a lot to write this out. This is my continuing story. I'm impressed again with the importance of telling our stories! One of the foundational scriptures in my journey is Rev. 12:11. It talks about the power we have to defeat the enemy (Satan) by speaking our stories. It says, "...and the enemy is DEFEATED by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and by the word of our testimony (the speaking aloud of our story)". So even as I write this out I feel the sadness and apprehension diminish and Peace become stronger. YAY! It's like a RESET BUTTON!
Thanks for reading, for hanging in there with me, for praying, for encouraging. I love to read your comments.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Special Gifts
We've received some very special gifts--
A dear friend who is praying specifically for our children through my cancer journey.
Another who prays for me in the middle of the night when she answers the call of nature =)
Little blackberries along the road where I walk. I stop and pick a few every day, and eat
them right then and there. They're usually warm from the sun.
A huge variety of birds that visit our feeder and entertain me all day long.
A Japanese friend who brought me seaweed she picked herself and processed and instructs
me to eat a tablespoon morning and night. I do. And kale from her garden.
Her husband who prayed such a heartfelt prayer for me with tears in his eyes.
Children who clean and cook and talk and love us so very well.
Grandchildren.
The comfort of my chair that is positioned perfectly so I can look out our big windows at the
beauty around us...or at the TV when we need mindless entertainment!
My little "camp" where I have everything I need within reach--you know, kleenex, phone,
books, pen and notepad, Bible, water, etc., etc.
Offers of help that just keep coming...
Those who are always here for us.
Visitors
I could go on and on. Feeling very blessed.
A dear friend who is praying specifically for our children through my cancer journey.
Another who prays for me in the middle of the night when she answers the call of nature =)
Little blackberries along the road where I walk. I stop and pick a few every day, and eat
them right then and there. They're usually warm from the sun.
A huge variety of birds that visit our feeder and entertain me all day long.
A Japanese friend who brought me seaweed she picked herself and processed and instructs
me to eat a tablespoon morning and night. I do. And kale from her garden.
Her husband who prayed such a heartfelt prayer for me with tears in his eyes.
Children who clean and cook and talk and love us so very well.
Grandchildren.
The comfort of my chair that is positioned perfectly so I can look out our big windows at the
beauty around us...or at the TV when we need mindless entertainment!
My little "camp" where I have everything I need within reach--you know, kleenex, phone,
books, pen and notepad, Bible, water, etc., etc.
Offers of help that just keep coming...
Those who are always here for us.
Visitors
I could go on and on. Feeling very blessed.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Such interesting timing...
Such interesting timing, to crash our car the day before my cancer discovery! Coincidence? I think not. Here's the story of the Gift from the Hand of God to my husband at a time he could use such a Gift.
We went to Seattle to have lunch with our girls on a Thursday. (Cancer was discovered on Friday.) Had a lovely time, they are so fun. Then we wanted to stop at the Auburn Supermall (Nordstrom Rack, of course!) on our way home. As we turned to enter the mall parking area, BAM/WHAM, a little black car came out of nowhere and struck our Zucchini (green Suzuki to you) on the passenger side right in the center between the front and back doors. It was a shock to us all. As we drove to a place where we could exchange information with the other driver I had this little flash of thoughts in my brain and I turned to Don and shared them... "I think this is about much more than wrecking our car. There's more going on." Really. I said that. And I could sense us both shifting from shock to something like being on alert. Turns out the young man who hit us was traveling a little fast and driving his mom's car. He kept saying, "Bummer, Bummer"... That was just the beginning.
Don found some straps in the car and tied the doors shut. I got in the back seat and we drove our mashed car home. Right away Don started to do all those things you do like talk to our insurance agent, get an estimate, etc., etc. Our insurance company was awesome. We even got a call at one point from the "Total Loss" department in Kansas from someone named Luke James who said he wanted us to know they were praying for us--since Don had spoken to them from the hospital as I was getting a test. Really? Luke James? Haha...
So, we soon saw that there were 3 stories going on here all at once. One was the wreck and all the people with whom we came into contact through that. The second was the response of our family and community to our needs. Within a day our kids had offered a car, two friends had offered theirs and finally a local car dealer gave us a loaner for as long as we needed it. I'm telling you! We are so blessed.
The third part of the story is so heartwarming. You see, in addition to my having married Stability, I also married a "car guy". Don is and has always been very "attuned" to great cars. The car that has excited him the last several years has been the Subaru WRX-STI. What fun it would be to have that car. We've also thought it a little small, sort of hard to get in and out of and we've known it was WAY out of our price range. After we learned that our insurance company was giving us much more than our little Zucchini was worth (probably thanks to Luke James) Don began to look around town for a replacement. He saw an ad online for a car that interested him and went to look at it. I stayed home. Before too long, I got a text: "I'm buying a car", he said. I texted back, "Wahoo!" He texted me, "Yup". What happened was this: he drove up to the car, a Subaru Legacy Outback and noticed a little "XT" on the rear. XT means this car has a slightly de-tuned WRX-STI engine and an WRX interior. Can you imagine what that's like for someone who's heart really does go pitty-pat when he sees a great car? So that's what we're driving now. I love it because it's blue and silver (!) AND because it is comfortable and secure AND, most of all, it brings joy to the heart of my man.
There are no coincidences. We have a great and Good God.
We went to Seattle to have lunch with our girls on a Thursday. (Cancer was discovered on Friday.) Had a lovely time, they are so fun. Then we wanted to stop at the Auburn Supermall (Nordstrom Rack, of course!) on our way home. As we turned to enter the mall parking area, BAM/WHAM, a little black car came out of nowhere and struck our Zucchini (green Suzuki to you) on the passenger side right in the center between the front and back doors. It was a shock to us all. As we drove to a place where we could exchange information with the other driver I had this little flash of thoughts in my brain and I turned to Don and shared them... "I think this is about much more than wrecking our car. There's more going on." Really. I said that. And I could sense us both shifting from shock to something like being on alert. Turns out the young man who hit us was traveling a little fast and driving his mom's car. He kept saying, "Bummer, Bummer"... That was just the beginning.
Don found some straps in the car and tied the doors shut. I got in the back seat and we drove our mashed car home. Right away Don started to do all those things you do like talk to our insurance agent, get an estimate, etc., etc. Our insurance company was awesome. We even got a call at one point from the "Total Loss" department in Kansas from someone named Luke James who said he wanted us to know they were praying for us--since Don had spoken to them from the hospital as I was getting a test. Really? Luke James? Haha...
So, we soon saw that there were 3 stories going on here all at once. One was the wreck and all the people with whom we came into contact through that. The second was the response of our family and community to our needs. Within a day our kids had offered a car, two friends had offered theirs and finally a local car dealer gave us a loaner for as long as we needed it. I'm telling you! We are so blessed.
The third part of the story is so heartwarming. You see, in addition to my having married Stability, I also married a "car guy". Don is and has always been very "attuned" to great cars. The car that has excited him the last several years has been the Subaru WRX-STI. What fun it would be to have that car. We've also thought it a little small, sort of hard to get in and out of and we've known it was WAY out of our price range. After we learned that our insurance company was giving us much more than our little Zucchini was worth (probably thanks to Luke James) Don began to look around town for a replacement. He saw an ad online for a car that interested him and went to look at it. I stayed home. Before too long, I got a text: "I'm buying a car", he said. I texted back, "Wahoo!" He texted me, "Yup". What happened was this: he drove up to the car, a Subaru Legacy Outback and noticed a little "XT" on the rear. XT means this car has a slightly de-tuned WRX-STI engine and an WRX interior. Can you imagine what that's like for someone who's heart really does go pitty-pat when he sees a great car? So that's what we're driving now. I love it because it's blue and silver (!) AND because it is comfortable and secure AND, most of all, it brings joy to the heart of my man.
There are no coincidences. We have a great and Good God.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
We have an appointment
We have an appointment. August 21 at 8:30 a.m. at the University of Washington Medical Center for Surgical Oncology. We're calling this a surgical consult but will no more tomorrow. Just wanted all you wonderful people know...
Round-about way to do things
Seems like a round-about way to do things but I'm sure it keeps them from being pestered by "whomever"... Apparently the Cancer Center people got the referral from my oncologist in Sequim and mailed us a letter! A letter? Really? The onc. PA called us with this information and suggested we check the mail. Hahaha... Seems sort of archaic, but...OK. So I walked out to the mail box and sure enough there was a very thin envelop with the number I am to call to make an appointment. It was from the University of Washington Medical Center Surgical Specialty Center. So I called the number and got an answering machine. Here we are, waiting for a call again. I'm fine. Don is pretty impatient. There only needs to be one impatient person, right? I'll let it be him.
There's a place here in Port Angeles lovingly referred to as "The Spit". It's a strip of land that separates the PA harbor from the Straights of Juan de Fuca and forms our lovely deep harbor. It's a favorite drive of ours to go out on The Spit and look first at the town, what ships are in harbor, check out the mountains--snow, no snow?--. Then we turn and look out across the Straits toward Victoria, British Columbia. Big water. Big ships. So amazing. Very refreshing. So we're going to go there right now. And wait for a phone call. Will it come today? I don't know.
There's a place here in Port Angeles lovingly referred to as "The Spit". It's a strip of land that separates the PA harbor from the Straights of Juan de Fuca and forms our lovely deep harbor. It's a favorite drive of ours to go out on The Spit and look first at the town, what ships are in harbor, check out the mountains--snow, no snow?--. Then we turn and look out across the Straits toward Victoria, British Columbia. Big water. Big ships. So amazing. Very refreshing. So we're going to go there right now. And wait for a phone call. Will it come today? I don't know.
While we wait....
While we wait for a phone call from SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance), I thought I'd share with you a little reading that I keep going back to over and over... because I need reminding over and over! Here it is:
"Sit quietly in my presence while I bless you. Make your mind like a still pool of water, ready to receive whatever (!) thoughts I drop into it. Rest in My sufficiency, as you consider the challenges this day presents. Do not wear yourself out by worrying about whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me and communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together.
Take time to rest by the wayside, for I am not in a hurry. A leisurely pace accomplishes more than hurried striving. When you rush, you forget who you are and Whose you are. Remember that you are royalty in My kingdom."
This is from a little book called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. The scriptures that apply are Psalm 37:7, Romans 8:16-17, I Peter 2:9...and probably many more but those are the ones she lists.
I love sitting in my chair these days, looking out at the trees, sky and birds and quieting my mind so I can listen well...
Blessings on you my family and friends.
"Sit quietly in my presence while I bless you. Make your mind like a still pool of water, ready to receive whatever (!) thoughts I drop into it. Rest in My sufficiency, as you consider the challenges this day presents. Do not wear yourself out by worrying about whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me and communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together.
Take time to rest by the wayside, for I am not in a hurry. A leisurely pace accomplishes more than hurried striving. When you rush, you forget who you are and Whose you are. Remember that you are royalty in My kingdom."
This is from a little book called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. The scriptures that apply are Psalm 37:7, Romans 8:16-17, I Peter 2:9...and probably many more but those are the ones she lists.
I love sitting in my chair these days, looking out at the trees, sky and birds and quieting my mind so I can listen well...
Blessings on you my family and friends.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
I thought we should move to Ellensburg!
I thought we should move to Ellensburg...Washington, that is. Now the thought just makes me laugh! About 3 weeks ago I'd had it with the dreary weather, feeling kind of like withdrawing from polite society. What a great idea, I thought. I looked online and found cute little ranch houses on 1/2-acre parcels, sunshine, mountains in the distance. I rationalized downsizing, closer to children (by 1/2 hour). Don was semi-agreeable, wanting nothing but for me to be happy. I secretly harbored this idea for about 2 weeks and then mentioned it to a friend whose story is similar to mine in the "moving around" parts. So she was ready to come with me! Then I mentioned this idea to my friend JoDee. Big Mistake! (Or actually, good move.) She is a truth teller, sees clearly, knows my story, can tell it like it is--very passionately. Basically she told me it was a very bad idea. The part that gripped my heart was this, "and you can withdraw from people and make it ok to move!" Truth. Ouch! Yikes. She had me. I believe God spoke through her.
In my growing up years I lived with my mother from the age of nine, parents having divorced. My mom was wonderful in many ways but she was always looking for the next place to move to, growing dissatisfied over and over with wherever situation was at hand. We moved around a lot! As a result of this early life experience I've been prone to dissatisfaction and its accompanying difficulties. Fortunately for me, I married Stability!
Anyway... now I have cancer. I cannot, cannot imagine being anywhere but here--in this beautiful place with an amazing support system (people who truly love and know me), nearby to my family, settled in with wonderful medical care, etc., etc. You get the picture. I pray that my heart remains focused in this place of Peace, where God has given me the desires of my heart, where this new chapter is about to unfold. I am in the exact place He has ordained I should be. He has established me here, has grown me up in many ways.
Scripture, which guides me day by day, says, "..;and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live." I want what He wants! Ellensburg?! Not now. It makes me smile. Good lesson.
In my growing up years I lived with my mother from the age of nine, parents having divorced. My mom was wonderful in many ways but she was always looking for the next place to move to, growing dissatisfied over and over with wherever situation was at hand. We moved around a lot! As a result of this early life experience I've been prone to dissatisfaction and its accompanying difficulties. Fortunately for me, I married Stability!
Anyway... now I have cancer. I cannot, cannot imagine being anywhere but here--in this beautiful place with an amazing support system (people who truly love and know me), nearby to my family, settled in with wonderful medical care, etc., etc. You get the picture. I pray that my heart remains focused in this place of Peace, where God has given me the desires of my heart, where this new chapter is about to unfold. I am in the exact place He has ordained I should be. He has established me here, has grown me up in many ways.
Scripture, which guides me day by day, says, "..;and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live." I want what He wants! Ellensburg?! Not now. It makes me smile. Good lesson.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Today is a new day.
Today is a new day. And I've received new information regarding The Intruder. I have what is called Neuro Endocrine Cancer. Go ahead and google it if you must but frankly, I know all I want to at the moment. Here's what I know. This Intruder in my liver originated somewhere in my gastro-intestinal tract and is very difficult to find. I will soon be evaluated by the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) Liver Team. (How would you like to be part of the Liver Team? Hmmm. Heart Team? That sounds more appealing.) This will be a hard battle.
We should hear this coming Monday or Tuesday about when we are to make our way to Seattle. They will assume my care and ask for any more tests needed and make a plan. I still will see Dr. Kummet in Sequim for things they are able to provide...closer to home.
So how, you may wonder, are we doing? The short answer is, very well, thank you. But here is the longer answer. We have a strategy for going through this chapter of our lives with grace and strength and Peace that passes all human understanding. We really do have a Good Shepherd that is wildly able to lead us in the best possible way, that gives us confidence that we can trust Him and that he will never, ever leave us. What better way to live Life! There's lots more I could say on this subject but for now, that's our bottom line. So whenever I start to look into the future with useless speculation or whenever those who don't understand this try to go in that direction in their conversations with me...I feel very free to share my philosophy with them. "We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need...and may you be filled with joy". (Col. 1:11) There's only one way that's gonna happen, my dear friends. And that is if what Jesus says is true and I believe deeply that it is.
Thank you all for loving me and my dear husband and children so well. Our support system is AMAZING. What would we ever do??
We should hear this coming Monday or Tuesday about when we are to make our way to Seattle. They will assume my care and ask for any more tests needed and make a plan. I still will see Dr. Kummet in Sequim for things they are able to provide...closer to home.
So how, you may wonder, are we doing? The short answer is, very well, thank you. But here is the longer answer. We have a strategy for going through this chapter of our lives with grace and strength and Peace that passes all human understanding. We really do have a Good Shepherd that is wildly able to lead us in the best possible way, that gives us confidence that we can trust Him and that he will never, ever leave us. What better way to live Life! There's lots more I could say on this subject but for now, that's our bottom line. So whenever I start to look into the future with useless speculation or whenever those who don't understand this try to go in that direction in their conversations with me...I feel very free to share my philosophy with them. "We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need...and may you be filled with joy". (Col. 1:11) There's only one way that's gonna happen, my dear friends. And that is if what Jesus says is true and I believe deeply that it is.
Thank you all for loving me and my dear husband and children so well. Our support system is AMAZING. What would we ever do??
I know you want to know...
August 8, 2012
I know you want to know what I wore to my appointment. (Apologies to you men who read this and just
don’t care.) I wore my GapBody sweats, a
soft dark purple t-shirt and my yellow Chico zip sweatshirt that I found at
Goodwill! So comfy.
When we arrived for our 2-hour appointment I had with me
Don, my good friend JoDee, daughters Debbie and Susan. (We had to bring in an extra chair.) Quite the party. I was so glad they all had come. Everyone has a part to play. Between all of us we heard what was said and
I was able to rest knowing I wasn’t there alone. We laughed and joked. It was easy.
The outcome of my oncologist appointment was encouraging,
but then we still don’t have the full story.
The encouraging part is that they may be able to remove the cancerous
portion of my liver and still have plenty left to live with. The scan of my chest came out clear. My blood work was good. Really, I’m quite healthy except for
CANCER!
Dr. Kummet said we will next pursue getting lined up with
the surgeons at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) for an evaluation of me being
a good surgical candidate.
Now we await the results of the Seattle lab that is working
on my tissue samples that will tell more of the story. My cancer is small-cell cancer, atypical (not
usual) for a primary liver cancer. So it
may be originating some place else we haven’t yet explored, so to speak.
Dr. Kummet’s prescription for us was to go home and
rest. So I was very obedient and, after
a good lunch, went to bed and slept for 2 ½ hours! Blissful.
Parts of Psalm 16 that comfort my soul: “Keep
me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge. Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of
blessing. You guard all that is
mine. The land you have given me is a
pleasant land. What a wonderful
inheritance! I will bless the Lord who
guides me, even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I
rejoice. My body rests in safety.”
It all started when...
August 7, 2012
It all started when I went to a luncheon—on July 27. It is now August 7. It is hard to believe it has only been 11 days. Today I meet for the first time with my oncologist.
It all started when I went to a luncheon—on July 27. It is now August 7. It is hard to believe it has only been 11 days. Today I meet for the first time with my oncologist.
The luncheon was at my friend Shelley’s house. She had thought of everything to make the
food and conversation beautiful. We ate
and we laughed. After carefully picking
at the chocolate swirl cheesecake, though, I began to have the feeling I might
lose my beautiful lunch. So I discretely
went in to the bathroom until the feeling subsided and went home shortly after
my little episode. Came home, went to
bed.
I slept and rested for a couple of hours, got up and went to
tell my husband, Don, that I thought I might be having a gallbladder
attack. He said call the doctor. I did and they said, “Go to the emergency
room”. We did.
So…I don’t want this just
to be about my discovering the alien form known as “cancer” living in my
body. (I have actually named this alien
“The Intruder”. An intruder is someone
who’s not supposed to be where they are!)
There is so much more to my story than the cancer story. In fact, this cancer is a small blip in a
much, much larger story of which I am a part.
I would call myself an out-of-the-box believer in Jesus. I trust the One who knows me best, leads me,
shepherds me, loves me, speaks to me, never leaves me. I say “out-of-the-box” because I have found
walking this walk anything but predictable or boring, anything but a list of
rules to follow (shudder), anything but lifeless. And I am privileged to walk through life with
some amazing family and friends.
In between telling you my progress through cancer, I’d like
to tell you some of my story.
I must go get dressed for my appointment. (Hmm..what shall I wear?)
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